A snowy expanse between rocky cliffs that kind of looks like seeing clouds from above.

Context

Why did I do this?

In January of 2023 I read this article in the New Yorker. My oversimplification of the article is that for a long time it was believed that people's thoughts fell somewhere on a spectrum with words (verbal thinkers) on one end and images (visual thinkers) on the other. Recently the big brains referenced in the article have started to believe there are actually two kinds of visual thinkers: object visualizers and spatial visualizers. This paragraph is the part of the article that embedded itself in my brain and led me to create this site:

Image by Adam Kring | A black and white photo of a church steeple rising out of some trees.

"Grandin proposes imagining a church steeple. Verbal people, she finds, often make a hash of this task, conjuring something like “two vague lines in an inverted V,” almost as though they’ve never seen a steeple before. Object visualizers, by contrast, describe specific steeples that they’ve observed on actual churches: they “might as well be staring at a photograph or photorealistic drawing” in their minds. Meanwhile, the spatial visualizers picture a kind of perfect but abstract steeple—“a generic New England-style steeple, an image they piece together from churches they’ve seen.” They have noticed patterns among church steeples, and they imagine the pattern, rather than any particular instance of it."

I got goose bumps when I read that the first time. I have always been a "spatial visualizer" but I didn't know how to describe it. I now call it "essence thinking." When I imagine something, anything, it is a combination of characteristics, images, emotions, memories, and words that I can only describe as the essence of the thing. It makes so much sense in my head, but when I try to transfer it to somewhere other than my own mind, it dissipates like a fog. It is extremely frustrating.

So I am done following rules. I am no longer trying to shape my thoughts so they fit in certain forms. In addition to feeling paralyzed by trying to force my thoughts into shapes they don't want to take, I am also a web developer and for a long time felt obligated to build and maintain my site myself. This self-induced pressure to "build my brand" siphoned all of my creative energy away from what I actually feel passionate about, so I stopped pressuring myself and paid for a site that lets me focus on writing. I am going to just follow my inspiration and curiosity.

Why here?

At its core, my desire to speak is a desire to connect, so I wanted to put my thoughts where other people could see them. If they want to. I believe in the internet and I miss the days of being able to stumble on to weird and random pages. The web used to be full of all sorts of little voyager satellites carrying messages just waiting to connect with people that would find them intriguing. Somewhere between blogging and TikToking people seemed to begin putting more thought into how to be heard than into what they were saying.

I don't mean to sound like I am shaking my fist and explaining how things were better "back in my day." I love innovation and progress. I enjoy change and novelty. I just feel like in a world of 24 hour news, dashboards, executive summaries, binge watching, and all of the ways we have sped up the ability to both share and consume information we have sacrificed thoughtfulness. When I say thoughtfulness, I mean a combination of consideration, diligence, and patience. I know I am far from the first to have this concern, people have this concern every time someone figures out a faster way to share or consume information, and that heuristics have empowered people to do amazing things, but we need to find harmony between speed and thoughtfulness. There is time and space for both.

What is it?

I have no plan. I don't have rough drafts or a publishing schedule. I am not going to promote it or take any deliberate SEO action outside of a lazy submission of the SEO forms on this platform. I am not going to monetize it or use it to promote myself. I am just going to write. It may range from things I enjoy to vignettes from my life to politics to parenting to fiction to... whatever. I am going to try to structure it in a way that allows readers to find what they like and ignore the rest, but who knows if it will work? It is going to be a living, changing thing. I have no idea how frequently I will post. This may end up being another unfinished project that haunts me, but I have to try. I hope people find it and connect with it, but I know it will not appeal to everyone. All I know for certain is it will begin with the story about the time I created the perfect playlist.